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Over Heard – The Secret Skill of Transformative Leaders

May 1, 2016

The most powerful phrase I’ve learned is “What I’ve heard you say is…”

It deepens connection and builds trust.Where there is conflict it de-escalates it.

Especially when ¬†followed by “Did I get that right? Is there more?”

When you are able to show that you have heard someone’s story, when you can mirror it back without judgment, advice or channel hopping to your own story, the person in front of you can hear themselves fully, probably for the first time.

Cue cheesy new age, nature soundtrack.

But wait… this works.

I’ve heard this technique called “hearing someone into speech”

I learned it trying to save a relationship when I had pimples not wrinkles.

Decades later, I’ve used it in crisis centres and top global corporations (same, same but different).

This gift of presence changes the listener and the listened to.

The one that is listened to, hears their truth amplified. They can find their own way more easily.

The listener gets a super hero skill. They start being able to hear between, over and under words.

It’s like learning to hear the air that holds what is not said.

This skill has helped me find business names, tag lines and entire marketing campaigns.

It’s saved my marriage and held the shattered pieces of friends together.

Over hear, it’s a game changing skill.

 

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Good is no longer good enough. The goal is perfection and the path that takes us there leads to excellence.
Louise B. Karch